Ladies, have you ever been in a relationship that started with fireworks, romance, and late night talks? Everything was all roses and champagne? You settle in and settle down into what you believe is going to be years of sublime domestic bliss!
Then life interrupts your blissful delusions and reality comes crashing in.
Weekends with you becomes weekends with the boys. He used to bring you roses and chocolates and now he wants you to bring him beer and chips. Going out to dine at fine restaurants has become drive-thrus or fast-food delivery.
We forget that men are a different form of our species. Their thought patterns
do not match our own. Men are logical creatures, while we women are the emotional ones.
We get frustrated and fed up with what we think is our man supposedly ignoring our wants and needs. We expect men to know...but we never tell them directly, we just drop hints. Or when we actually ask them to do something
and they actually do it (or they attempt to predict what we want or need), but it isn't exactly to our specifications, we belittle and criticize them.
Men are such wonderful beings most of the time, yes they can be exasperating. They really do want to see us happy, they just don't understand the way we think.
If we try to tame them with anger, silence, callousness, cruelty, harshness, severeness, nagging, belittlement, or any other negative "training" then we risk loosing that special spark that attracted us to them in the first place.
So I am going to help you out, Ladies. I am going to help you get his attention by being open and vulnerable without being a ditz! When we learn to be open and vulnerable then the man can feel like, well a man!
With every piece of advice I am about to share, the most important part of it all is BE SINCERE! If you truly care for your man, and respect your self, then BE SINCERE! Everyone of these steps should come from the heart, because if you really want to strengthen the bond between your man and you then BE SINCERE!
Men enjoy when you are interested in what they like. Ask him to explain his favorite sport, teach you about his hobbies, or what he likes most about his career. If you lack the inclination to truly understand then find something that you both already have in common and talk about that instead. If you really desire to learn more about his interests and are afraid that you may still not understand what he is telling you then don't be afraid to take notes and ask detailed questions. Really listen to what he says.
Find the moments when you can talk to your man. Tell him about your dreams, your favorite things, your experiences, your life, your sexual preferences, while your both cooking dinner, driving down the road, during, out for a walk. Have a lazy Saturday morning, bring him coffee in bed and sit or snuggle and talk. He really does want to know what makes you tick. Just find a good time to talk to him when he is not distracted by other things and be observant about whether or not you do have his attention.
Men love to feel your skin against theirs. Most men really enjoy physical contact from their lover. When you are passing each other in the hallway, stop him and give him a quick kiss. If he's shaving, watch him and touch his cheek when he's rinsing off the blade. Give him a hug from behind while he's washing dishes. Hold his hand when your in the car. Snuggle on the sofa while watching t.v. Play footsie at the dinner table.
Don't be afraid of public displays of affection either. Being public and sharing some affectionate touching does not have to be raunchy. PDA's let your man know that you aren't afraid to shown the world that you are with him, and it gives him a chance to lay his claim on you also (His inner barbarian will grunt in appreciation!). Hold his hand if your out walking. Hug him when your standing in line somewhere. Give him a quick kiss whenever you get the chance.
If he goes out of the way to do something he usually doesn't, be sure to tell him thank you. Especially if he does that something without you nagging him or putting it on a "honey do" list. I don't care if he doesn't do it half as good as you would have, tell him thank you.
Be sure he knows how much you appreciate everything he does for you, from the expected to the unexpected. If he brings you flowers but they are the ones you hate, tell him thank you. Men cannot read a woman's mind, they can only guess at what we mean when we tell them what we want if we aren't very detailed in our explanations (This is where the "Talk to him." comes in handy!). He will mean well and he will be eager to do more for you when you tell him how much you appreciate his efforts with a simple thank you.
We all make mistakes. We are humans living imperfect lives. We will do or say the wrong thing at one time or another. Telling your man that you are sorry shows that you trust him enough to open your emotions to him when you are in the wrong. Telling him "I am sorry" when you are in the wrong, shows him that you value his feelings.
Saying "I am sorry" also shows him your vulnerable side. It reminds him that you do need, and want him in your life. That simple phrase can and will make him feel more manly which will in turn entice him to show you how much he appreciated your femininity.
- Get naked during the day.
This is usually the hard one for most women. We aren't all gifted with "perfect" bodies, but believe it or not your man will not care what the "world's idea of perfection" is. To him you are perfect! Being naked with your man, during the day, definitely ranks high on the vulnerable list and it is a tough one to do, no matter your age or body type.
Close the blinds (or leave them open if your adventurous!), and run around the house in your birthday suit. Take a shower or a nice long, hot bath together. Read a book together or play on your laptops in the buff. Not too comfortable with that, them wear one of his shirts and nothing else, or even a sarong alone will work too. Still too shy, then snuggle on the sofa or floor under a blanket and watch a movie.
The man you are with wants to see you happy. He really does love to see a smile on your lips. He especially wants to be the one who made you smile. Not too sure about that, then wait until you are across the room from one another and smile at him. Really smile for him and see how he reacts (Caution: his reaction may cause you to blush!).
Smiling opens us up to joy and love. It is a way of reminding us that we are happy and vibrant beings. It energizes the heart and soothes the soul. Smiling changes our energies and the energies of those around us. Smiles are very contagious and life changing.
Try any or all of these steps and watch your man become more attentive and loving.
This are simple little things that we can do for our men to remind them, and us, just how much we do appreciate them. Men are genetically and instinctively set to be the providers and protectors, any one of these maneuvers will help to reinforce his innate instincts. Once your man feels more manly, then he will be very inclined to treat you like the lovely lady that he fell in love with.
Being open and vulnerable will strengthen the bond of love that you share.
If this still seems daunting then I will gladly work with you privately on how you can open up and maybe even spice up your relationship.
Blessings and Love,
