A Message of Love and Inspiration: A Post-Mother's Day Post

I really hope that all the "Moms" of every kind had a wonderful Mother's Day!

I just wanted to share what my oldest boy wrote me in his Mother's Day card. I also hope that you will find this as inspirational as I do. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried when I read this:

 When god made men he said "they will be strong hunters and protectors." But when the goddes was up she said "even the strongest protectors need protecting" so from her own body she created mothers. To take care of the strongest worriors and protectors in their time of need. Nothing would be possible with out mothers. Mom you made me the man I am now my sister into the women she is, and my brother into the runt he is. We love you through the dark times, and the best of times. Forever and always your babies. Alexander Garcia

I left in all the spelling and grammatical errors on purpose. You see my oldest son has dyslexia and for him to write anything by hand is a struggle. He is a very intelligent young man who has battled with the embarrassment of bad grades and bad handwriting.

For several years I worried that he would never see a graduation day and that he would end up on the wrong side of the law. He was very stubborn and quick tempered. He had witnessed a very ugly divorce and all the drama that comes after. He is very protective, but still finds it hard to ask for help in many situations.

My Daughter drew this for me!

He has come a long way in a short amount of time. Sports gave him an outlet for his energies. Changing many of the people that he was hanging out with, helped to change his behavior (He still has the same best friend from the 6th grade though.) He has made many mistakes, but I can proudly say that he has learned from them and he has changed positively.

Alex will graduate with his class in less than two weeks thanks to the love and attention (and not to mention a lot of arguments and tears) from teachers, coaches, friends, and family.

He has a few goals set and very good plan for the future. He has come a long way with his life. A summer job is in the works, followed by him joining the military in the fall, and possibly a career in law enforcement afterwards.

A whole new world has opened up for my oldest son, because he changed the choices he was making.

What choices could you be changing to improve your life?

Wishing you all many Blessings and much Love,

Seven Ways A Woman Can Be Open And Vulnerable In A Relationship

Ladies, have you ever been in a relationship that started with fireworks, romance, and late night talks? Everything was all roses and champagne? You settle in and settle down into what you believe is going to be years of sublime domestic bliss!

Then life interrupts your blissful delusions and reality comes crashing in.

Weekends with you becomes weekends with the boys. He used to bring you roses and chocolates and now he wants you to bring him beer and chips. Going out to dine at fine restaurants has become drive-thrus or fast-food delivery.

We forget that men are a different form of our species. Their thought patterns do not match our own. Men are logical creatures, while we women are the emotional ones.

We get frustrated and fed up with what we think is our man supposedly ignoring our wants and needs. We expect men to know...but we never tell them directly, we just drop hints. Or when we actually ask them to do something and they actually do it (or they attempt to predict what we want or need), but it isn't exactly to our specifications, we belittle and criticize them.

Men are such wonderful beings most of the time, yes they can be exasperating. They really do want to see us happy, they just don't understand the way we think.

If we try to tame them with anger, silence, callousness, cruelty, harshness, severeness, nagging, belittlement, or any other negative "training" then we risk loosing that special spark that attracted us to them in the first place.

So I am going to help you out, Ladies. I am going to help you get his attention by being open and vulnerable without being a ditz! When we learn to be open and vulnerable then the man can feel like, well a man!

• Be Sincere.

With every piece of advice I am about to share, the most important part of it all is BE SINCERE! If you truly care for your man, and respect your self, then BE SINCERE! Everyone of these steps should come from the heart, because if you really want to strengthen the bond between your man and you then BE SINCERE!

• Talk to him.

Men enjoy when you are interested in what they like. Ask him to explain his favorite sport, teach you about his hobbies, or what he likes most about his career. If you lack the inclination to truly understand then find something that you both already have in common and talk about that instead. If you really desire to learn more about his interests and are afraid that you may still not understand what he is telling you then don't be afraid to take notes and ask detailed questions. Really listen to what he says.

Find the moments when you can talk to your man. Tell him about your dreams, your favorite things, your experiences, your life, your sexual preferences, while your both cooking dinner, driving down the road, during, out for a walk. Have a lazy Saturday morning, bring him coffee in bed and sit or snuggle and talk. He really does want to know what makes you tick. Just find a good time to talk to him when he is not distracted by other things and be observant about whether or not you do have his attention.

• Touch him.

Men love to feel your skin against theirs. Most men really enjoy physical contact from their lover. When you are passing each other in the hallway, stop him and give him a quick kiss. If he's shaving, watch him and touch his cheek when he's rinsing off the blade. Give him a hug from behind while he's washing dishes. Hold his hand when your in the car. Snuggle on the sofa while watching t.v. Play footsie at the dinner table.

Don't be afraid of public displays of affection either. Being public and sharing some affectionate touching does not have to be raunchy. PDA's let your man know that you aren't afraid to shown the world that you are with him, and it gives him a chance to lay his claim on you also (His inner barbarian will grunt in appreciation!). Hold his hand if your out walking. Hug him when your standing in line somewhere. Give him a quick kiss whenever you get the chance.

• Say "Thank you".

If he goes out of the way to do something he usually doesn't, be sure to tell him thank you. Especially if he does that something without you nagging him or putting it on a "honey do" list. I don't care if he doesn't do it half as good as you would have, tell him thank you.

Be sure he knows how much you appreciate everything he does for you, from the expected to the unexpected. If he brings you flowers but they are the ones you hate, tell him thank you. Men cannot read a woman's mind, they can only guess at what we mean when we tell them what we want if we aren't very detailed in our explanations (This is where the "Talk to him." comes in handy!). He will mean well and he will be eager to do more for you when you tell him how much you appreciate his efforts with a simple thank you.

• Say "I am sorry".

We all make mistakes. We are humans living imperfect lives. We will do or say the wrong thing at one time or another. Telling your man that you are sorry shows that you trust him enough to open your emotions to him when you are in the wrong. Telling him "I am sorry" when you are in the wrong, shows him that you value his feelings.

Saying "I am sorry" also shows him your vulnerable side. It reminds him that you do need, and want him in your life. That simple phrase can and will make him feel more manly which will in turn entice him to show you how much he appreciated your femininity.

• Get naked during the day.

This is usually the hard one for most women. We aren't all gifted with "perfect" bodies, but believe it or not your man will not care what the "world's idea of perfection" is. To him you are perfect! Being naked with your man, during the day, definitely ranks high on the vulnerable list and it is a tough one to do, no matter your age or body type.

Close the blinds (or leave them open if your adventurous!), and run around the house in your birthday suit. Take a shower or a nice long, hot bath together. Read a book together or play on your laptops in the buff. Not too comfortable with that, them wear one of his shirts and nothing else, or even a sarong alone will work too. Still too shy, then snuggle on the sofa or floor under a blanket and watch a movie.

• Smile!

The man you are with wants to see you happy. He really does love to see a smile on your lips. He especially wants to be the one who made you smile. Not too sure about that, then wait until you are across the room from one another and smile at him. Really smile for him and see how he reacts (Caution: his reaction may cause you to blush!).

Smiling opens us up to joy and love. It is a way of reminding us that we are happy and vibrant beings. It energizes the heart and soothes the soul. Smiling changes our energies and the energies of those around us. Smiles are very contagious and life changing.

Try any or all of these steps and watch your man become more attentive and loving.

This are simple little things that we can do for our men to remind them, and us, just how much we do appreciate them. Men are genetically and instinctively set to be the providers and protectors, any one of these maneuvers will help to reinforce his innate instincts. Once your man feels more manly, then he will be very inclined to treat you like the lovely lady that he fell in love with.

Being open and vulnerable will strengthen the bond of love that you share.

If this still seems daunting then I will gladly work with you privately on how you can open up and maybe even spice up your relationship.

Blessings and Love,

Cherish Those Little Moments

Tomorrow, like most mornings, will drive my kids to school and it is usually a great way to start the day. We laugh. We talk. We renew our familial bonds. It has become a tradition, if you will. It is a few minutes for us to talk, argue, laugh, or just sit in silence. No matter how we spend those 10 to 15 minutes, we are connecting.

It is a simple little thing for me to drop off my kids on my way to work. It is one of those many little moments that occur in my life that I am learning to be present in. It is one of those little things that I do with my kids that will count in the long run for them and for my self.

Our lives are full of those little moments that just flitter by and will disappear without notice if we are not present in them.

How often, and think real hard on this, have you had one of those moments with someone and you wish that it could have lasted longer? Gone differently? Or worse yet how many of those little moments have you forgotten?

Those precious little moments in our lives are very easily lost in our memories. They can sneek in at some later point in our lives when we least expect it. Just a brief flash of memory that can bring back a flood of emotions and possibly some "what-ifs".

How often have you thought of taking time to do something special for yourself and just let that moment pass you by? Yes, we do have little moments that could be used to better our relationship with our selves as well.

Each one of those little moments can strengthen relationships with those around us. Whether they are with family, friends, ourselves, coworkers or even strangers. A friendly smile, an "I love you", a warm hug, a shared laugh, or any other form of communication during one of those little moments can change someone's day and maybe even their lives.

Take the time today to be aware of those little moments. Being aware of them can change your perspective on how you interact with other people and yourself.

Make the choice to be present and enjoy those little moments that are blessings in themselves.

Blessings and Love,
Andrea Faye

Time Slips By Too Fast, A Mother's Thoughts

My oldest son had his Sr. Prom last night. He had told me about how a few friends and he had a conversation about how much they were going to miss each other. As he told me this I started thinking about his graduation coming up in a few weeks and his plans for the future.

He is a grown man but he will always be my little boy. He even saved my life once. (That story is for another blog.)

In two years his sister will be at this point and in four years his brother will too. They grow up too fast.

It seems like only last week that I felt this first stirrings of life in womb. I could have lost him at one point in the pregnancy, yet here he is my hero about to walk into the real world.

The usual parental thoughts pop into my head as graduation date looms closer: Did I prepare him enough? Did I teach him all he needs to know? Will he survive? Does he know that I am only a phone call away? Will he find the right woman? Will he have a great life? Will he have his own family?

The list goes on and on.

He truly is a wonderful man. I realize that he will stumble, get hurt, possibly get his heart broken, maybe even fail a time or two. I also comprehend that I have to let him walk his own road. I can no longer hold his hand and tell him what he should or shouldn't do.

I have some very sweet (and some not so sweet) memories of his childhood. I have more precious memories of my children's childhoods than my own, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Watching my children growing up is a constant reminder that time is so fleeting. We are only here for a short time. There is so much world out there and only a limited time to live in it.

There is so much that I would have loved to do for and with my children, but it didn't work out that way for various reasons and I will not regret it. I will not regret the life that I have given my children up to this point because they would not be who they are now if events had gone differently.

I can still make memories with my family. I still have things to teach them. I still have stories to tell them. I still have a life to live with them.

Time slips by too fast, so we need to live each blessed day that we are given.

Are you living your life or just existing in it?

Are you ready to change?

"We have tomorrow, but we won't always have tomorrows."

Many Blessings and Much Love,
Andrea Faye

A Personal Story of Finding Strength

Standing under the steaming hot water in the shower last night, I felt a tightness in my throat as a tear rolled down my cheek.

An image had popped into my head of a young girl giving herself a sponge bath. Two large bowls of precious hot water and a sort of bucket under her feet. She was so careful about spilling as little of the water as possible, as she washed herself. Standing in a cold shower in an even colder bathroom.

She had heated the water one pot at a time. She stood there shaking and shivering so hard that she had to keep her mouth clamped painfully closed. She had done the same mediocre bathing ritual to her younger brothers an hour before.

They were tucked into her bed, curled around each other for warmth, sleeping so soundly. She had found them all the extra blankets that she could. As soon as she would dry off and get dressed, she would crawl into bed with her siblings and keep them as warm as their shared body heat would allow.

That young girl was me.

Growing up, my family had some hard times.

I remember that winter so well.

No money for propane to heat the house or the water. Having to boil water for makeshift baths and washing dishes. I ate a lot of white rice and beans that winter, so my brothers could eat better. Walking to school, because I was too embarrassed to ride the bus, consequently being tardy a heck of a lot. I got teased about my clothes and my hygiene. No one knew the truth. No one cared to ask.

I've gone back to visit that young girl, in meditation.

I hold her, tell her I am so sorry for what she is going through. I tell her that someone knows now. I wipe her tears with mine as I share our pain, because I had to be so strong then. My brothers never saw me cry. I had to be strong for them. 

I have always had to be strong.

I have always had to.

For someone else.

Now I am strong for me.

I am still strong for others, I have a family after all, but it is a different strength.

I strive to be successful, because I have lived with the strength of sacrifice.

I live a life filled with love, because I have experienced strength during pain.

I am grateful for the good in my life, because I have been the strength in destitution.

I see others with an open heart, because I discovered my strength in ridicule.

I listen with my heart, because I was the strength of silence.

I give my smile easily. I listen without judgement. I speak with love.

I am very open and honest about my life and my self, because I am strong enough to.

I am a Mother. I am a Woman. I am Strong.

Are you strong?

Blessings and Love,

Andrea Faye

Meditation 101

Read the next paragraph and do as instructed:

Close your eyes. Inhale to the count of 4. Hold for 3. Exhale for 8. Repeat this 4 times. With each inhale feel your body relax. Stay relaxed, breathing slowly, with your eyes closed for about 60 seconds. Don't fight any stray thoughts that pop up. Just acknowledge them and let them go. When you are ready, once again inhale, hold, exhale in the beginning pattern and repeat 4 times. Open your eyes and stretch.

Congratulations! You just did a mini meditation.

Meditations come in many lengths of time and can be done in many ways.

There are three main forms of meditation: Active, Inactive and Inactive-Active.

Active Meditation

   This form of meditation is the least talked of except by practitioners of Yoga, T'ai Chi, Qi Gong, other types of martial arts, and other physical activities where the mind does not have to present with the body.

   What too many people don't realize, and utilize, is meditation while doing other physical activities. Have you ever meditated while vacuuming, washing dishes, washing the car, singing a lullaby as you rock your baby to sleep, folding laundry, or any other "chore".

   Meditation while you are doing something that requires a minimum of thought process is very relaxing and eases the stress and anxiety of having to do "chores" that seem time consuming, boring, and possible irritating. You can either let your mind wander or do some concentrated thinking on a specific thought.

Inactive Mediation

   This is the most common form of meditation and yet it is the hardest to practice. It takes a lot of practice to sit, lay or stand as still as possible and to train the mind to quiet.

   This is a very calming form of meditation that can lead towards some astounding insight and awakening. It takes a heck of a lot of dedication to become adept at this meditation but it is so worth the time and effort. 

Inactive-Active Meditation

   This is the easiest of the three meditations. This form of meditation is where you sit, lay or stand as still as possible but let your mind wander where it will, turn a specific thought into the point of meditation, listen to music or a guided meditation.

   Letting the mind be occupied in some form makes it easier to keep the body still.


Meditation doesn't take any special equipment, just a place free of distraction and a willing participant.

Meditation in any form is a dedication to the mind and spirit. It is a way to delve deep into the soul and teaches you to discipline the mind and the body.

Meditation helps us to discover the answers to the questions and problems that plague our mind. Meditating opens our minds to living better lives. Meditation renews our connection to that which we hold sacred.

Meditating eases the mind as it strengthens it. Meditation will also open up your intuition.

When I do meditations with clients I do request that they try to have a good nights rest and be well hydrated. Just before the meditation class they should have eaten a light snack and have used the restroom. I do ask that my clients have something that they can take notes with, you never know what messages and insights might come through, I also ask that they have some water or other light refreshment to help ground them back into reality.

Meditations are as easy or difficult as you make them.

If you would like to participate in one of my meditation classes, in person or by phone, then feel free to contact me by email at breathingharmony@gmail.com.

7 Ways to Re-Motivate Yourself After a Personal System Shutdown

Sit in a nice quiet spot and close your eyes for a few moments and listen. Listen to all the jabbering that goes on in your head.

The stress and worry of a normal everyday life comes in loud and clear. All the "to-do's", bills, work issues, family stuff, everything that goes on in your daily life will just fill your head with so much noise as it all vies for your attention.

It really is enough to make you just want to curl up under a blanket and hide from it all. You become so exhausted from all the stress of just thinking about everything that you need to get done, let alone trying to do it all. You lose your motivation and you just shutdown.

Throw in one of life's bigger setbacks, say a death of a loved one or a break-up, and you not only shutdown you down right shut yourself off from the rest of the world.

If and when you decide to come back on-line with the the still plugged-in, live in HD world you may feel lost, unmotivated, and possibly depressed. Your life is still waiting for you, and usually your ignored issues have piled up even more mountainous than you may want to acknowledge.

Living in today's fast paced, bill accumulating, keeping up appearances, highly distracting world can leave you so drained.

So how do you reset and re-motivate yourself?

Simple:

• Meditation
• Visualizing the Outcome
• Setting Priorities
• Journaling
• Talking to a Friend
• Reading Something Inspirational
• Just Start Moving

We have all heard of these tried and tested methods. They do work. We know that they do. We have all tried these at some point and time in our lives and they do pull our motivations back into focus for a time.

We do great, we begin to accomplish, life gets brighter, we dance through life, until we take one misstep, and falter for some personal reason. We drop the method we were doing so good on. We shutdown again only to try the next one and repeat the cycle.

We are all guilty of this at one time or another, but we know that all these tactics do work. Most people just never seem to keep up with them for very long.

This is why life coaches are so great to have. They help to keep you on track. They have no other reason to keep you going and motivated than to see you become the best You that you can be.

Life coaches will use some of the methods listed above as well as other methods that they have tweeked in some way. Life coaches help to keep you on track with accomplishing a better life and realizing your dreams.

So if you really need to get motivated to get your fanny into action, try any of the methods listed above to help you start something great in your life.