Life/Spirit gives us ample opportunities to evolve, become, grow, change. We must choose to act and interact. We must decide what to say and do. We even have to decide what not to do.
Sir Issac Newton was right. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." This scientific law can be applied to life as well. We have to embrace that we can control most of our life and all of our reactions. We need to be aware that others may be effected by our actions. We must be very conscious about the fact that we cannot control the reactions that others will have to our actions or in-actions.
We may not always see the consequences of our actions immediately, or maybe never even see them at all, but there are always consequences...reactions to everything we do or don't do. Say or don't say.
There is an unfortunate truth: the happier, more abundant and more successful our lives become, the more others will experience pain, jealousy and fear in reaction to our growth.
Other people's reactions to our life changes are completely out of our control. We can bask in the positive energies of those who support our changing lives and we must learn to accept, but shield, from any negative energies that come from those who envy and fear our success.
There will always be someone who will talk behind your back. Someone who spreads rumors. How are you supposed to deal with this verbal energy barrage and still live a harmonious life?
The easiest action to take against bad gossip is to ignore it. Snide comments, malicious gossip, bad talking and maligning of your reputation can all be ignored. Yes, ignore it. Walk away. Play deaf. Do Not react in any way.
The people who stoop to gossiping in any form are just exhibiting where or what is lacking in their own lives through their jealous phrases.
Don't think so?
Still believe that they are just being small minded and cruel?
Then pay attention to what is being said and by whom. I realize that I just contradicted myself here, but this is the tougher road to take. Listening to what others say about you, without reacting, and studying what is being said is not the easiest thing to do.
Whatever it is about you that they are being snide about will say so much about what they truly want from and in their own life. Don't pity them, but be aware of the smallness they are feeling by what they are saying.
Try not to stoop to gossiping about the other person in retaliation for their hurtful words.It will only get petty and possibly abusive. Instead examine what they have been saying, it will speak volumes about how they really feel about themselves. See the jealous, fear based words for what they are. A form of pity and self loathing that they are experiencing by comparing your life to theirs.
Not too long ago one of my kiddos was feeling a little overwhelmed by what another child had been saying. There was some serious, malicious gossip being spread about my child. My first instinct was to rush to defend my kiddo, but I stepped back and talked to my son about what was being said and the possible reasons for it.
After facing down the gossiper, my son talked to him about some of the similarities in their lives. Both the other boy and my son come from broken homes. The big difference was that the other child was in the middle of a vicious push-pull custody battle with the Mom and Dad bad mouthing each other and trying to make the poor child choose sides. My son showed this boy genuine empathy and friendship and gave the other boy what he really needed at the time...an unbiased, sympathetic, knowing listener. Someone who had gone through something similar and come out ok.
My son is now friends with this other boy and has stood by him through several other emotional events.
Words can hurt, but words express.
Listen, with an open heart.
Be compassionate.
You could make a friend.
You might even help that person become a better person.
Wishing you Blessings and Love,
Andrea Faye
